A new love for the acronym BJ

So I've evolved into a degenerate gambler over the past week.. who'd have seen that coming?

I always thought myself to be pretty straight edged, never really being overly interested in casinos, always considering the odds against me. Even when at an actual casino I usually skim over the games, playing the odd video poker game.

But with the recent poker addiction, I've been reading a lot about different sites about it, and have noticed there is alot of bonus money out "there" (there being that magical fantasy world of the internet) up for grabs... bonus money to entice you to sign up for their crappy casinos.

Now while playing an online casino is in the top 5 most pathetic things a human can waste their time doing.. the bonus' started to entice me. And after reading this article it started to become real clear - I need to get involved and involved fast.

Since the startup costs for an online casino are nil and the profits are historically high, enterprising arubians and other offshore countries have been trying to snag some of that rich ignorant american dollar by starting up online casinos. They offer bonus' to join to give incentive to join their own casino - since there are so many - and they don't have much difference between them they have to give that extra to get anyone to come. They are designed to give customers a short run bonus to start off with and as they piss away their walmart pay cheques on a video slot machines, the casinos make more than enough back over time.

But to a smart player, you can get these bonus' to work for you. Long story short, you play blackjack (which is statistically about a coinflip if you play properly) and play for a bit then cashout with the bonus and you are done with it. Sounded pretty foolproof to me, so I signed up and started to play.

So I played this weekend, about 6-7 hours in total and ended up cashing out with a profit of about $280 - which is pretty sweet. The best part is it is 99.99% risk free.. since the bonus they give you acts as insurance that if you start running bad. So I plan on hitting up as many of these casino bonus' untill they run dry.

Its a pretty boring process, although fun at times when you go on runs, but over all I figure its worth it - as I need the cash for my upcoming trip to Europe. I've also developed a liking for the game of blackjack. I used to think of it as a pretty mindless game - and it is - but it has its moments. Like hitting on 16 with the dealer showing a ten card and getting your 5... or doubling up after splitting when the dealer has a 6.. its pretty sweet. Not "pocket aces" sweet, but its at least stimulating. Sometimes after running bad you question the legality of the site.. "wtf dealer has hit running cards to make 21 to beat my 20 5 times in a row.. this is rigged.." but then you realize that you are playing $1 a hand and that its so not worth it for a casino that probabbly makes millions an hour to rip you off for a dollar... and they have a vested interest in giving you a fair chance since it is so easy to switch casinos.

Additionally I'm going to try to start whoring up some bonus' for poker sites. Same deal as casino sites, you just have to play a certain amount of hands before you can cash out. As long as you play solidly and turn a profit - even a small one over time, the bonus adds a nice padding to your overall bankroll. Eventually I plan on playing multiple tables at once in order to make the hand minimum as soon as possible to move onto the next bonus. Fun times ahead for me.

Only problem is you basically have to play fixed limit poker, which is just worse than dog crap. No creativity - no "moves", no bluffing no nothing. Its essentially playing multiplayer blackjack where you play against each other or something... it truly is a terrible form of poker, but it is the safest. No huge swings that no limit can bring.. especially when multi-tabling. So I'm going to try to fire up a 2nd monitor to get the maximum amount going here.. ya I'm that cool.

So the goal is to profit $1000 / month at the momment, which I am told is pretty reasonable. Nothing spectacular - but its a nice hobby in my "spare" time, which will hopefully translate to a part time job when I'm in Europe.

Office Space

It is a physical impossibility for me to survive in the "corporate" world for any sustained period of time.

I've tried, I really have...

No matter how many team meetings we have, where management litterally brainwashes us into believing that we are all part of this fantastic "team".. and that we are blessed to be working with such an AMAZING group of people... I can't fathom that anyone is actually believing this crap. But those who play along, get rewarded.. its pretty funny like that.

The best part is, no one believes anything anyone says. The managers spout useless drivel about how great we are all doing etc.. etc.. and how they love having us work there.. when 10 minutes later they are yapping to their fellow peers about how they can't wait to leave - after work plans etc.. Its all just another game.

Managers tell lies to sub-managers, sub-managers pass that same fraudulent enthusiasm down to the common worker in a poorly constructed attmept to create an atmosphere of a "fun place to work".

Its work - I understand that. No one - especially anyone working at a bank - likes their job. When I say like, I mean, prefers to do it compared to anything else. Sure you can "like" your job - ie, compared to another job, but you still have to get up when you don't want to, shower when you don't want to and talk to people you would rather kill.

Obviously it is in the owners best interest to have its employees happy and productive, but they are seriously underestimating my intelligence. Yes, this random group of 200 people that happened to apply when you were hiring is the best possible group of people. Of course they are. Even the 21 year old high school drop out with a kid that neglected to tell you that during the interview? Or the drug dealing former strip club bouncer? Yes, a fine - talented group of people you have sifted through that golden filter. Its fine - people lie on resumes, interviews.. and the job itself isn't exactly an intellectual challenge, but don't kid yourself.. its just 200 completely random people.

The day-to-day office life is what kills me the most. Everyday you see these people, all taking a break from what they would prefer to be doing - all the while putting on the front that do infact like their job - well as long as the managers are paying attention. Such a strange group too, ages range from 20-60 all doing the same job. Like I said it doesn't take much to do this job, just act professional I guess and you satisfy managments underachieving goals so they make their department look good.

But then there is the part where you are actually talking to people - obviously my favorite pasttime...

I can get by dealing with these idiots by clammering off the standard office chat.. stick to talking about obvious, unintellectual current events (tom cruise, london bombings / terrorism, and hockey strike are your bread and butter right now). Always refer to the weekend and/or the end of the day in every possible sentance.

"Can't wait for this day to be over!"

"Really? Me too! Lets talk about the day being over together!"

"Yes, working sucks, I can't wait for the weekend"

"No kidding, I cannot wait untill the weekend either"

"High five, can we talk about this everyday?"

And so on. Its easy, and mind numbing enough that you can actually stand it, like a sedative.

Just don't try and talk about something you actually care about, it will lead no where and everyone will think you are insane. Just blend in, nod, smile, say hi and talk generic monkey talk. People will start to love you - the guy that always has something to talk about and is so friendly. Everyone will collectively want to bone you, and you will be able to do no wrong, just for spouting useless info that is totally unnecessary.

I guess its just me though. Maybe I'm the minority. I'm just not an outgoing / talk about every useless thing type of guy. Some people are, maybe they fit in here, maybe they are the majority and this lifestyle is efficient.

But it is safe to say that office work is about the last thing I'll be doing in a year from now... or ever again.

Addictions

If there is one thing I am good at it is addictions... and they say you should write about what you are good at.

I would imagine a good majority of the population has never actually been addicted to anything. They can't fathom what it is like to be addicted to something. They feel sorry for those who are addicted and try and get their loved ones to stop what they are doing. But one thing about being addicted to something that others will never be able to understand is that they truly enjoy what they are doing. I have a strong belief in the general economic assumption that everyone is a rational maximizer - that is to say that everyone rationally makes decisions that best maximizes their utility or enjoyment - no one makes themselves miserable on purpose (unless they derive pleasure from misery).

Being addicted to something is simply saying that there is nothing else that their time can be better spent on. Whether or not what they are doing is "healthy" is irrelavant. If someone tells them their addiction is unhealthy - the addicted simply says to themselves - "they just don't understand".

Now, I've never been addicted to anything classically destructive - but I cannot think of a time in my life where I havn't been addicted to something. I do everything to the extreme. In my mind, there is no need to dip your feet in anything you do, you should always get the most out of it by immersing your entire being into it.

The major addictions that have afflicted me have generally been digital in nature - from the internet, video games (everquest, world of warcraft, goldeneye) to poker (currently addicted to). For a while I was even addicted to playing guitar. But no matter the affliction - there are always the naysayers - especially now with poker. I can understand their posistion - they don't want me "wasting" my life by not doing what they deem is socially accepted. It is very hard to justify my position to my friends... but why should I have to? Almost everything everyone does is pointless.. especially what my friends do. When I am asked why I spend so much time doing one thing, I generally ask - what else is there to do? Most people arn't out there saving the world, so what exactly are they doing that is so much more productive that what I do? Most likely they watch a lot of tv, perhaps read, maybe go out to dinner or a movie.. random useless stuff. Simply because they vary their activities does not mean they have achieved some sort of enlightened status. How about this.. I'll do what I want, and you do what you want, and when we feel like it, we'll do things together - sound good? What an insight...

Simply put I don't think doing one thing in "excess" is necessarily a bad thing. If obtain the most amount of utility from doing it then you can't fault me - it is what gives me the most pleasure. I just wish I wasn't so damn likable that people get pissed off when I don't hang out with them...