State of the Union

As I approach probably the most meaningful crossroad in my life, I feel the need to detail the state of my life today, in order to sort out where I’ve been, and where I am going.

At 24, I’ve just graduated from University with a magnificent 3 year degree in Economics. Only took me 5 years to obtain it and without honors to boot. My education up to this point in my life has been one disappointment after another. Not a disappointment to myself, since I know my ridiculously unmotivated ways, but to my friends and family who feel that I should have no troubles getting through school. I feel bad for disappointing them but I will never reach the potential that I obviously can achieve – as school is just too long term for my short-sighted monkey brain to comprehend. Either way, I’m pretty happy that I found economics, and despite underachieving the whole way, I did learn a lot. I feel that it truly refined my thought process about almost everything in life. Despite the inherent uselessness of a 3 year social science degree as far as finding a job related to your “field” goes, I’m happy that this useless degree has at least shaped my thought process to be much more critical, analytical and rational and no matter what, will always effect every decision I make.

I am the typical bright eyed, bushy tailed, overly optimistic 20 something university grad that is ready to take on the world. I have a lot of ambitions and desires that I hope to achieve – which is strange because I’ve never been much of a goal setter. My education has opened my eyes to the evil that is government and ultimately I hope to change some peoples notions about why large government is extraordinarily inefficient for any society hoping to progress. A bleeding heart liberal I am not, which is the opposite of most young educated people. I am most definitely the minority in even the circle of friends that I converse with, but I truly feel that I am correct in my conservative notions – they are simply unaware of the truths. But I digress as those ambitions must be put on the back burner for my current ones. I’m going to have to figure out a way to get to retirement, a difficult challenge for my anti-work lifestyle.

After working as a corporate whore for just the last 5 months collecting on overdue credit products for a bank, I’ve regained a new found hatred for employment and the human race simultaneously. I’ve always despised work of any description. Basically anything that I’m forced to do; I have a strong objection to. So no matter how good a job is, I’m going to hate it. I used to have a job where I was paid 8 hours a day and had the freedom to do whatever I wanted throughout that 8 hours (literally, they even gave me my own car that I could ride around in all day, wherever I wanted) except I had to clock in and out at the start and end of the days. Despite the ridiculous amount of freedom I had, I loathed showing my face at the office even for 5 minutes. I hated getting up when they wanted me there and being forced into returning to the office at the end of the day. Essentially if I am wasting my time for someone else that I don’t care about, then I hate that activity – whatever it is.

The hatred for the human race has grown strong. As I detailed in my office space article, its clear I am not a fan of the oh-so-hilarious inter-office quirks that are parodied on so many a movie and TV show. But by experiencing first hand the shear helplessness of humans, my hatred has developed into an entirely different level – one that I assume most people have never fathomed. By working in a collections area for the past 4-5 years, I have dealt with the pinnacle of uselessness on a daily basis. The customers who are past due, almost without fail, seem to come up with an excuse that makes their delinquent status someone else’s fault. And they believe it wholeheartedly. Nothing in life is ever your fault – believe it. I won’t get into the disgusting details, but just embrace the fact that even if you fuck up in life, you will find an outlet that will relieve you of your faults – especially in Canada – home of the faultless.

So what are my options?

Well, like anyone with half a brain and even less ambition – I desire to work for myself. I’ve learned to live on table scraps for the past few years living away from home, and I’m not concerned at all with “impressing” anyone with how much money I make. If I need to scrape by for a few years to achieve my long term goal of self-sufficient happiness, I will. If I have the option to work for myself and make less than a ridiculous 9-5 job for a fixed income, I’ll take it in a heartbeat. The problem is I’m not sure if I’ll have that option. Everyone I know talks the talk, but when it comes down to it, I imagine that many will take the safe route and take a job for the man for the next 30 years. Problem is, I’m not overly skilled in any trade or skill. Unless anyone wants to learn how to surf the internet, play mediocre guitar and play online poker simultaneously for maximum utility. I feel my strong understanding of economics, and human behavior coupled with my inherent money management skills as well as being extremely self-aware and rational are an excellent framework for any aspiring business owner. But it’s just the idea that I need. Hopefully it presents itself in a neatly packaged box. If not, I may have to consider suicide.

Things that make me happy:

Poker – all forms.

I have developed a sincere obsession with this game. However, it is not as detrimental as one would think. Whenever I discuss this with anyone they immediately label me as a degenerate gambler, but when I detail my winnings with them and show how I rationally approach the game, they invariably change their tune. While I don’t think it should be a long term “career” goal, I do think I will play for many years to come making an excellent supplementary income. I have more fun doing this than anything else in my life right now.

Spending time with friends.

For all the hatred I have for humans, I have truly formed some great relationships with my friends and am extremely grateful for having gotten to know them. 2nd to poker, just sitting around talking to my friends, perhaps drinking is more enjoyable that I could have ever imagined. The best part is, my friends are an extremely diverse group, coming from a lot of different income and education groups. They each have a very unique outlook on life and I enjoy the ridiculous banter that occurs when we are together. I hope that these last throughout my lifetime.

Playing Guitar

At least everyday I crank up the amp and play some terrible guitar. I know I’ll never be a famous musician – I simply don’t have the talent or discipline for it, but I do enjoy a loud rocking session. Hopefully this continues throughout my life as when the mood hits me, music makes my boner throb.

And that’s it.

Everything else is just vanilla flavored - And I don’t see any obvious places where I can improve my lifestyle. I am content – at equilibrium – with my life at the moment, other than that whole work thing.

So in two weeks, I’m off to Europe for an extended trip to which I don’t know when I’ll be returning from – most likely within a year depending on how long our cash flow lasts. When I return it will most likely to start my grown up life – after having gotten any and all boyhood dreams worked out of my system (including probabbly my dream of self-employment). I’ll never grow up, but I may have to act like it someday.