Well, since so much of my writing/thought time has been taken up by my poker life, I have pretty much abandoned any creative thought for other areas.
And since no one reads this blog, I figure I can use it for any piece of trash that I think of.
So here it is. The stupidest thing you will ever read on the internet.
Actually just so you have an understanding of how stupid the stupidest thing on the internet is, I'll give you some perspective.
Back in the early days of the internet, when the only search engine was yahoo and hotmail didn't even exist, my friends and I decided to create personal webpages at geocities, a free webpage provider. I made one about entertainment and my friend made one about video games, we were just having fun. However, once my second friend (I only have 2) saw our pages, he wanted one too. So instead of making a page that made any sense, we made, "Joe's Poo Page". Basically this webpage consisted of one animated picture of a cartoon dog taking a shit, followed by a few horrible rhymes about poo. It took us 14 minutes to create, and up to this post, had been the undisputed reigning champion of bad webpages for years.
Unfortunately Joe’s Poo Page is no longer in existence to show you how truly bad it was. However, despite it’s shittyness (get it?!), it managed somehow to get over 1 million hits. We still don’t get it.
So now you understand how bad and juvenile this post is going to be.
As everyone knows, I spend about 23 hours/day too much on the internet, and therefore end up finding a lot of useless shit to waste my time with. I stumble across this website late last night. It’s a pretty simple concept. You draw a picture and then send it off. Then you receive someone else’s picture that they drew. That’s it. But for some reason its fun. So absent of any actual artistic talent I decided to do what any 25 year old man would do – draw stick figures of myself. But it didn’t end there. I needed more than just me. So after some thought, I came up with this:
Ok, so at this point, you are either laughing or mad that you’ve wasted this much time. I have to warn you it’s only going to get worse. So if it’s funny keep reading, if not, go to MSN.com and read about how to shop for your girlfriend for valentines/birthday/Christmas.
Now to me, this was probably one of the funniest things I had ever created. I seriously stared at it for about 10 minutes laughing. I’m still laughing looking at it now. Since I created something that made me laugh so, I sent it off for someone else to enjoy and decided to draw another one. I can only imagine how upset someone would be when they received that utterly embarrassing picture of them. So how could I improve on the last picture?
A natural progression. By the way that is spit, not puke. Don’t be disgusting. The laughter continued, and the hilarity was amplified in proportion to the recipient’s level of pain. So clearly, this was only getting funnier, and another picture was brewing in my mind.
Again, a natural progression. Then I thought, how can this be topped, I’m out of bodily fluids. Then it hit me…
Don’t worry, I’m not gay. It’s just my way of saying that you are gay. And I was probably aroused by your mom, not you. Speaking of your mom…
Probabbly my best work to date. Note the strength of my ability to draw arms, despite your mom lacking them. And then there is you, poor defenseless you. But I felt that I had to go a different direction with these drawings or I may run this joke into the ground. So I glanced over to my side and remembered that I write about poker 99.5% of the time. And it was born…
If you don’t know poker, having 27 is the worst hand possible. Imagine being equated to the worst hand possible. The pain is truly unimaginable. But the laughter doesn’t stop. I continued down this abstract path with…
And finished with…
That’s a Mercedes emblem you assfag. If you didn’t know that then you are the “you” that I’m referring to in these artistic depictions. Yea, that’s right I said it.
So that’s basically how I spend my nights, although usually they aren’t that funny.
I told you this would be dumb, don’t look at me that way.