Quick Vids

Here is a pretty funny and true followup vid for my poker article

Unbelievable prank vid.. seriously had to be a thousand to one shot for that to happen

I love flash cartoons, I spend hours a day watching them.

• This one is really well done and hilarious
• Another flash done by the same authors. At first I found it annoying but after watching it again I couldn't stop laughing (only funny if you've seen the classic "All your base" flash).
  
• Burnt Face Man: Episode 2. My favorite cartoon series (I am not gay! I have a calender with naked ladies at home!)
  
• Here is another flash done by David Firth, creator of Salad Fingers and Burnt Face man. This guy really is talented

While not a video or cartoon, this sound bite is interesting. Its a stolen message left by Lindsay Lohan on Paris Hilton's cell phone.

Poker in the rear

So I've recently been playing a lot of Texas Hold'Em poker with friends and on-line - typical male university thing to do I know.

To me the game is the perfect pasttime. You can play with friends with just a deck of cards and some makeshift chips. With just a 5 dollar investment each it will give you two hours of enjoyment with your friends with a chance at a decent payoff.

The game is also great because its not purely luck, not purely skill. A skillful player will certainly win in the long run, but in each game, anyone can luckily pick up a crazy hand on the river, which can throw the game into complete disarray. But being skillful will give you a distinct advantage. Personally I prefer Texas hold'em to other forms of poker because you can really use some mathematical probability to help you out, which is great. Any time I'm able to use probability and statistics in real life I get a massive boner for some reason.

So driving home today - as I often do when driving - I started contemplating the greater meanings of my life; in this case poker and what the popularity of poker has to say about society in general.

I hope this makes as much sense as it did driving home, but it seems to me that poker is a fantastic microcosm of life.

*puts on philisophical hippy face*

What is life but a game of people trying to receive the most chips?

Everyone is dealt cards, sometimes good, sometimes bad, but no matter what cards you are dealt you are forced to deal with them. Sure some people are luckier than others, but in the long run, it is how you deal with what cards are dealt that determines your sucess.

Sometimes in life you have to bluff or deal with people who may be bluffing. The frequency in bluffs is positively related with how often you are caught, no matter how good you are. As ol honest Abe said, "you can fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all of the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time". Bluffing (read: lying) is a part of life. Its an important tool to use in life and poker, as when used effectively you can achieve more than you could have without it.

I would say you can tell everything you need to know about a person by the way they play poker. Poker is not mechanical like blackjack. There is no dominant strategy. Unpredictability is the only thing that counts, and in life I feel this is true. Look at poker chips as "happiness" or "utility" chips in life. Everyone is trying to maximize happiness (poker chips) in the long run, and sometimes you have to lose in the short run to realize the long run gains. Poker perfectly illustrates this battle of wits in a short period of time.

Anyways I could go on all day with analogies but I think I see why poker has been a staple of entertainment throughout the ages. If anyone wants to sign up for online poker, do it at Bet'Holdem and I can get you and myself a $50 bonus (just tell me if you do so I can officially invite you).

Off to play I go.

Virtual high schools?

A "virtual" high school in Wisconsin has received a flood of applications recently. By virtual they mean that most of the classes are done through correspondence through the web (not robot teachers).

While I'm all for efficiency in all aspects of life, I think education is one place where the efficiency needs to be toned down.

The times I had in my high school were the best of my life, for many reasons. I met all my long term friends there, and still enjoy seeing the people I went there with on a regular basis. Its amazing that I used to be in classes where I was friends with everyone, and now in university its the exact opposite. The internet is an amazing source of information, but there is something to be said about the value of human interaction.

The school has extracurricular programs and such, but what motivation do these kids have to even leave the house? I'm living proof that a life sustained by the internet is an unhealthy life. I couldn't imagine living this way throughout my high school life. When you are in high school you don't really know whats going on in the outside world, and sheltering these kids from that world even more can't be a good thing.

In my 4 years of university I've longed for the intimacy and comfort I had in high school. I've only met one professor that I can identify with and respect, where virtually all my high school teachers had at least one redeeming quality, and many I still think about today. I've relied too much on the internet for lecture notes and readings that I've found it increasingly pointless to attend class. I want more than just a degree from my education, and in hindsight I would have gotten more involved earlier, but the good thing about high school is that they force you to interact and get involved. Even if you join no clubs, teams or events you still feel apart of the school, where I feel like I'm going to work sometimes when I goto university classes.

I hope this isn't one of those things that I'll complain about in my senior years once all classes are through the internet and I'll start using the "in my day" phrase.

Emo kids need to wake the fuck up

Ok, so Emo kids are an easy target. But I don’t hate them because they cry themselves to sleep, write poetry, look like this or make out with members of their own sex*.

I hate them because they are clueless, vapid, impressionable idiots who pretend they are the exact opposite.

Case in point – the infamous “emo” glasses

Ever talked to someone wearing these who wasn’t a condescending, naïve, pseudo-intellect?

I went to the Taste of Chaos tour concert last night. The bands were predictably average (only band that didn’t suck happened to be the only non emo band – Killswitch Engage) but the best part of the show was definitely watching all the little 14-18 year old emo kids acting emo.

Their main goal in life is to express how different and special they are to the rest of the world – and seeing them all together brought an ironic grin to my face. It must be shattering to their little emotional hearts that they are no different than the rest of the thousands of kids there, who are now faced with the realization that they aren’t the only one who stole their personalities from a “Get up kids” CD cover. Don’t worry though, they are all just posers, and you are truly a tortured unique soul.

But I can get over their looks, I too have fallen victim to conformity in high school. It’s their attitude which is more disturbing.

The whole “tortured soul” thing is truly pathetic. The best part is the emo bands capitalize on their emotions. At one point “My Chemical Romance” was up on stage yelling out clichéd slogans such as “you cannot destroy me” and “if you disagree with what I’m saying then fuck you!” and the kids were just eating it up.

Emo kids – you aren’t tortured. Look where the fuck you are! Your parents drove you downtown for the show, paid for your tickets, clothing, emo accessories and gave you spending money. You are living in London, Ontario for fucks sakes, what are you crying about really? If you lost your boyfriend/girlfriend, go get a new one. If you couldn’t get that job, or you failed a test, try harder next time. How about if you woke up tomorrow without running water, clothing, fly repellant and AIDS infested? Everyone has problems to deal with, you are not a special or unique snow-flake.


If after reading this you are interested in becoming emo - I have provided some links will help you on your worthwhile journey.

- Instructional Video on how to become emo
- How to dress emo! - for boys and girls


*(Despite what you may think, I’m all for these sensitive tortured souls entering the realms of homosexuality. After all there will be less of their strand a generation from now).

Life is boring when you are lazy

I can see it now.

I can see my life heading down that path - that clichéd overtold life story that 35 year old men talk about on a daily basis. One where they regret everything they've done, hate their shitty job, family and wonder what happened.

Granted these men have less human capital than the average AIDS ridden Somalian, but their story has some redeeming qualities we can learn from.

How to avoid the downward spiral that is life?

It starts when you are 10 years old and you get the pleasure of receiving an allowance if you do your chores - your first responsibility. As responsibilities increase, enjoyment of life decreases, but there are ways to minimize these losses.

This is there the 35 year old loser fails, and I hope to win - because I can see my path. I can see myself going down that path just as easily as they did.

You just have to accept the fact that life isn't going to be as fun as it was 5 years ago, no matter what age you are. When I was 19, I still didn't care about much. I went out drinking 3 times a week or more, spent whatever money I had and lived my life day to day. Now, just 5 years later I'm planning for the future, saving money and only drinking maybe once a week. Some would call me pathetic, but I'm just trying to maximize my future and current happiness. Yes I know thinking about the future really sucks, and is hard to perceive the long term benefits but even a short-term maximizer like myself can realize that some planning must be done.

Which brings me to my newest shitty life problem that I have to deal with.

Last week I got fired from a part time job I've had for 5 years. Now its not the end of the world, I'll easily get another job, but now I'm stuck with the problem of figuring out what to do every day. I'm still in school so I'm not going to get another job untill I'm done, which leaves me with a ton of spare time that used to be taken up by working. Now being the lazy piece of shit that I am I've spent all my days since the incident doing absolutely jack shit nothing. This blog update is the sum of my production for 1 week. I always envisioned that if I won the lottery I would quit my job and do nothing. Turns out nothing isn't all it was cracked up to be. I sleep for 12 hours a day now, getting up only because it litterally becomes uncomfortable to stay in bed. I check the internet, read a ton of useless shit, maybe play guitar and some video games then goto bed... . Within a week I've defined what a meaningless life consists of and I can see how this can effect people. Most losers in life let these situations effect them negatively and have trouble regaining motivation to get back on track. Now I may be an unmotivated sack of shit, but I can still see my future. I know exactly what I need to do to get the life I want, so I'm not worried. I can waste a few months and still be A OK since a few months is meaningless - life is fucking long.

Anyways I have an exciting weekend of jacking off and internet surfing to plan for, so I'll end it here, maybe I'll actually eat today.